- It's having to roll over veeeery carefully to get out of bed in the morning.
- It's finding that putting socks on ain't as simple a process as it used to be.
- It's realizing that everything you eat makes you fart...it's not just the broccoli and raisin bran any more.
- It's releasing that basketball-sized gas wad while riding the bike and worrying that I've just dabbled my britches with fecal matter.
- It's stretching every so often at your desk so that you can walk normally down the hall.
- It's having to take a walk down the hall more frequently than you can believe possible.
- It's getting sleepy after two beers instead of getting wired after 15 of 'em.
- It's having to have your wife and coworkers repeat every damn thing they say.
- It's finding that those "cute" comments that used to get you laid now get you arrested or looked at as "that crazy old guy".
- It's concluding that you'll probably never make that Pinhoti Trail hike again. And that doing any more of the Appalachian Trail is fuckin' nuts.
- It's realizing you won't be able to pick up your beautiful 6 month old granddaughter if she gains another pound.
- It's calling your dogs by the names of pets you had as a child and referring to your lovely wife as 'girl' because you have no idea who she is or how she got in your car.
- It's having to have surgeries to repair all the crazy damage you did to yourself flinging your body all over the place playing ball.
- It's telling the gorgeous young girl who cuts your hair that you used to actually have hair to cut.
I will occasionally add to these thoughts, I'm sure...if I can remember to!
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