Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Potential Demise From Food Tampering

Not that the cereal itself isn't capable of causing a painful death (or at least so many bathroom visits that you'd wish you were dead), please be aware of the following incident:

I grabbed my just purchased box of Kellogg's Fiber Plus Berry Yogurt Crunch about 30 minutes ago. Upon opening the cardboard box's sealed top, I noted that the inner liner bag was wide open. There was/is an odd crumby patch at the top on both the front and back of one corner. Hmmm...I suppose the prudent thing to do would be to return this to Wal Mart. However, the line at the customer service area is generally 20 deep and populated by people returning everything from Kleenex to lawnmowers to DVDs they've just finished ripping. Screw it...how much cyanide could someone dump into a box of cereal when Wal Mart's aisles are teeming with munchkins knocking box after box of Froot Loops onto the floor? So, after debating: painful cyanide death/going to Wal Mart...I opted to risk death.

I sampled a flake. The cereal was perfectly crunchy and fresh, so I ate two large bowls of my possibly tampered with Fiber Plus. So far, so good. However, if anyone finds me writhing in torment on the kitchen floor, please either drag me into the bathroom...or call the morgue.

NOTE: As I am adding this info today, apparently the tampering involved either a very slow-acting agent...or there was no tampering at all. I have survived and will continue to chow down on the contents of the box.

No comments:

Post a Comment